Apologies -

After working in the beauty/service industry for over 15 years I feel like I can no longer be surprised or caught off guard. I’ve seen it all and have shed and rebuilt a clientele multiple times over.  I’ve had the opportunity to work with just about every type of person you can imagine.  When you work in a service industry for any period of time you start to notice the similarities and differences in people. Do it long enough and you’ll get a front row seat to a little slice of our society.  

In my years I’ve noticed a common theme that effects me on a daily basis. That theme being that women have a tendency to give me an apology as a greeting. I very rarely have a woman sit down in my chair and not apologize for their body in some way. The apologies range from being sorry that their hair is dirty, sweaty, up in a bun; to being sorry about their weight, face shape, outfit, not wearing makeup, etc. The list is endless. Their assumption is that their hair, body or face will have a negative impact on me and my ability to be happy doing my job. This theme pertains almost exclusively to women, both AFAB and Trans. In my years behind the chair I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen this behavior in men. We know where this comes from. We know the pressures society places on women specifically about their body and looks.

It’s a small gut punch and reality check each time it happens. It’s a constant reminder of the work we still have left to do as a society. I’m writing this in the hopes that it can reach women. I’d like to speak on behalf of all hairstylists (and for those that don’t agree with me, look into a different career).  Women, there is no need to apologize. It’s my job to wash your dirty hair, and my eyes are trained to find beauty in every face shape regardless of makeup.  It’s ok to have insecurities, and to name them so I can tailor your hair and experience to suit you, but you do not need to apologize for them.  In fact I can’t tell you how often your insecurity is the thing I find most beautiful and interesting about your physical appearance.  We all leave a sweaty butt print on the chair in the summer and we all get coffee breath.  You’re human, you’re flawed and it’s beautiful; welcome to the club.