Apologies -

After working in the beauty/service industry for over 15 years I feel like I can no longer be surprised or caught off guard. I’ve seen it all and have shed and rebuilt a clientele multiple times over.  I’ve had the opportunity to work with just about every type of person you can imagine.  When you work in a service industry for any period of time you start to notice the similarities and differences in people. Do it long enough and you’ll get a front row seat to a little slice of our society.  

In my years I’ve noticed a common theme that effects me on a daily basis. That theme being that women have a tendency to give me an apology as a greeting. I very rarely have a woman sit down in my chair and not apologize for their body in some way. The apologies range from being sorry that their hair is dirty, sweaty, up in a bun; to being sorry about their weight, face shape, outfit, not wearing makeup, etc. The list is endless. Their assumption is that their hair, body or face will have a negative impact on me and my ability to be happy doing my job. This theme pertains almost exclusively to women, both AFAB and Trans. In my years behind the chair I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen this behavior in men. We know where this comes from. We know the pressures society places on women specifically about their body and looks.

It’s a small gut punch and reality check each time it happens. It’s a constant reminder of the work we still have left to do as a society. I’m writing this in the hopes that it can reach women. I’d like to speak on behalf of all hairstylists (and for those that don’t agree with me, look into a different career).  Women, there is no need to apologize. It’s my job to wash your dirty hair, and my eyes are trained to find beauty in every face shape regardless of makeup.  It’s ok to have insecurities, and to name them so I can tailor your hair and experience to suit you, but you do not need to apologize for them.  In fact I can’t tell you how often your insecurity is the thing I find most beautiful and interesting about your physical appearance.  We all leave a sweaty butt print on the chair in the summer and we all get coffee breath.  You’re human, you’re flawed and it’s beautiful; welcome to the club.

5 tips for the best curly cut of your life

1. Finding a curly hair stylist

This might seem obvious, but many people struggle with this first step. To find a stylist in your area, try a Google search for "curly hair stylist in [your city]" or search Instagram hashtags with your city name (like #curlyhairaustin).

Some major curly hair brands have stylist locators on their websites that show how much training each stylist has completed.

After creating a list of potential stylists, check their social media to review their work and ensure you'll feel comfortable learning from them (education’s a big part of most curly services).

2. Bring a photo of your current products

Most curly stylists want to know about your current product routine, including what you're using and how you like the results. Since clients often have trouble remembering all their products, take a photo of them lined up in the order you use them. This gives your stylist complete information and you can bring it to your appointment or send it ahead of time.

3. Bring a few inspiration photos

When it comes to inspiration photos, choose wisely. After 12 years of cutting curly hair, I've noticed that everyone wants curls different from their own - wavy-haired clients want curly hair, coily-haired clients want looser curls, and everyone wants more uniform patterns.

Find inspiration photos that match your natural curl pattern and density. Use the curl chart to identify your curl type, assess whether you have high, medium, or low density, and search accordingly (for example, "low density 3c curls").

Limit yourself to three photos and be clear about what you like in each one, as stylists and clients often focus on different aspects of the same photo.

4. Hair prep is crucial

Different salons/stylists have different preparation instructions. If prep guidelines aren't available on the salon's website or social media, ask directly.

• Most stylists prefer clients to arrive with freshly washed or day-old hair that's dry and detangled.

• No products, or at a minimum no heavy oils, butters, or creams.

• Avoid wearing your hair in a bun, braids, or tucked behind your ears after washing. If you're having trouble with tangles or matting, let your stylist know - they can schedule extra time to help prepare your hair and teach you better techniques.

5. Be open to changing your routine.

The natural hair movement began 10-15 years ago when information was scarce. Now, while there's abundant information online, much of it can be misleading. Your stylist may identify necessary changes to your products and routine - listen to their advice. If a complete product overhaul isn't in your budget, that's okay. Let them know you can only take home one product, and a good stylist will help you choose the most impactful item for your routine.